Adolescence
by Asuhole
Summary: Lately, whenever Gon looks at Killua, he gets a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. Just like a pinch, as if butterflies unravels within his tummy - a soft flutter.
1. A fuzzy feeling

Warning: the story will contain explicit sexual content in the second chapter.

I suggest you to settle the reading format as 1/2 for a better reading experience.

Thank you.

Enjoy!

* * *

Lately, whenever Gon looks at Killua, he gets a fuzzy feeling in his stomach. Just like a pinch, as if butterflies unravels within his tummy and tickles with their wings – a soft flutter.

However, that is how it has always been to Gon – to a certain degree. It has just gotten worse the last couple of weeks, and he cannot put words on what is going on with his body and mind.

Having turned seventeen last Monday, he considers himself an adult – almost, so he has to know about things, why they happen and such. Like why heat frames his cheeks when he sees Killua smile. Alternatively, why his shoulders hunch up and he feels light like a feather when Killua touches him by accident.

He has to know why, but no matter what he does – or how many sleepless nights he spends trying to figure it out, he never gets anywhere. Moreover, for each day passing by, the pinching gets stronger – the ticklish feeling that ensues in his veins and makes his hair stand on end.

It is a strange temptation that arises at peculiar times – like yesterday when they sat around a bonfire and ate oatmeal together – and Ging was there too, but all Gon could keep his eyes on was Killua and his blue eyes. He had wanted to reach out for Killua, just as Killua had laughed at something Ging said, and he had looked so happy for a moment, so bright and somehow angelic, bathed in warm light from the fire in the middle.

Gon had kept the temptation to himself, though, and instead another feeling had mulled somewhere in his mind – some strange thoughts that he now cannot put a finger on.

* * *

Gon is sitting outside, leaning against the trunk of an enormous tree. He digs in the ground with a stick he has found somewhere in the bushes, musing a song to himself, a song Mito used to sing to him when he was just a child.

The weather is hot, and the sun is settled high on the sky, rays of sunlight baking the vigorous forest and the creatures inside trotting around, nipping at plants. Gon pulls in his white shirt with one finger, closing his eyes as he lets out a big wheeze, followed by a stretched whine as he complains about how hot it is, even though there is no one around.

He sits himself down and leans against the trunk again, legs spread as he draws small stick figures in the earth with the tip of the stick. His thoughts are curling within his mind, bending with one another – so many at once – it almost makes him dizzy.

He thinks of what has been happening to himself lately. His reaction yesterday reminds him of a while ago when he had been talking to Killua, like a normal everyday conversation, but someone else had distracted Killua, and Gon had been standing from afar, patiently watching until they were done talking. Automatically, Gon had just spaced off by looking at Killua talk, observing how a smile had crooked at the corner of his mouth in a way that Gon really liked. After a while, Gon had felt a strain in his stomach or between his legs – and he had thought of it as stomachache or sweating due the heat, so he had excused himself to go to the bathroom.

He found out that he had been aroused, though, like sometimes when he wakes up in the morning and his gut feels warm all over, or like when Killua's stomach is visible when he yawns and stretches – and Gon feels that strange temptation again.

Gon groans aloud and hits the back of his head against the trunk, gritting his teeth as he shuts his eyes closed.

''Something´ bothering you?'' sounds a familiar voice above him, followed by the noise of a branch bending, but not any sound when the person jumps to the ground – graceful as a feline.

Gon refrains from opening his eyes, ''Killua?'' he suggests with a knowing tone.

Killua does not answer, but only stands a bit from afar, then walks towards Gon with his hands buried in his pockets.

Gon only opens his eyes when a shadow is cast upon him, blocking the sun from his view. He is right, and Killua stands in front of him, as tall he is, hovering above him with a curious but calm look in his eyes. He squats down so that he is almost at same eyelevel as Gon, tilting his head as he hums a ''Hey, hey – what's got you hanging your head like that?'' followed by a lopsided smirk. Gon twists his lips a tad in a confused expression, not knowing how to respond.  
When Killua sighs with closed eyes, all Gon can focus on is the boy's feather-like eyelashes, the slope of his nose – his small but well fined lips and the pale skin.

The urge to reach out and caress Killua's cheek nags his nerves, so he looks downwards and breathes heavily instead, not knowing where it all comes from.

''Hey, Gon-'' Killua grouses, unsatisfied with the lack of answer as he pokes Gon's knee with two of his fingers. Gon flinches at this, drawing his knee closer to himself as if burnt. Killua notices this and furrows his brows.

As result, he sits himself right in front of Gon instead of squatting, not bothering to be soundless as he releases an oomph when he plants himself onto his bum, hugging his left knee as he rests his head on the kneecap.

''If anything's bothering you, you know you can tell me,'' Killua mutters, squinting his eyes, adding a: ''Gon.''

For once in his life, he has seen Gon somewhat flustered – the way Gon avoids looking into his eyes, blinking them innocently and in confusion, continuously drawing figures in the earth with the stick as he is puckering his lips in a considering expression.

After a decent amount of silence, Gon finally talks.

He sounds utterly perplexed, rearranging his sentences repeatedly, changing between asking if there is some weird things like butterflies in his stomach, or electric through contact or something weird like that, and Killua cannot follow what he is trying to say.

''I- when I,'' Gon breathes despairingly, as if he does not know what to say himself, ''when I look at this person- I get warm all over,'' he starts out slowly.

Killua nods just as slowly.

''I feel an urge to… touch the person... to, uh, to be near hi-'' he quickly amends his words, averting eye-contact, ''the person, I mean - and, and uh – the person makes me happy just by smiling.''

The silence stretches even longer this time, the only noises in the air being the buzzing from the bugs and the wind picking in the crowns of the trees. For a moment, Gon thinks he sees something weird in Killua's eyes, just for a second.

''So you're in love,'' he states, sounding neutral, although it has some dread in the undertone.

''In love?'' Gon repeats, caught up in the words.

''You know-'' Killua makes a considering expression, running his unoccupied hand through his hair. The motion suddenly distracts Gon. He watches in awe as Killua cards his fingers through the white locks that almost reaches his shoulders by now, since it is not tied up in a spiky ponytail.

''Hey, Gon, are you listening to me?'' Killua yaps, poking Gon's knee again. ''Sorry-'' Gon quickly apologizes, rubbing the nape of his neck timidly.

Killua sighs.

''You know, being in love can be defined in many ways. Not just by 'liking' another person. Usually, it's decided through how you view this person – how you want to be with the person. Like- uh,'' he mutters, stopping halfway to think. ''Like when you look at the person you become happy, or the person´s presence itself makes you feel lighter, perhaps. Being touched by the person may feel good as well, and you'd want to be around the person like that. You'd accept the person for who she or he is, and love the person despite good sides and flaws. Is that what you're telling me you're feeling?''

Gon nods eagerly, ''yeah, exactly!''

''So who is it?''

Something twists in Gon's stomach, and suddenly he feels like his temples are beating in his ears – everything goes slow and his breathing becomes more audible. ''Who is it?'' he repeats, as if not understanding the words, sounding breathless.

''Yeah, that's what I'm asking, idiot,'' Killua says, sounding grumpy all of sudden – more than the usual.

Gon fidgets a bit, mouth feeling dry all of sudden. It is not exactly the same – the same feeling as being scared for the first time, but somehow it is, in some strange way, although this is a different kind of fear.

''I can't tell you, Killua,'' he says, simply – trying not to make a face.

At this, Killua widens his eyes and gives Gon an incredulous look.

''Is it someone I know?''

''Yes- wait – I'm not going to tell you!''

''Why not?''

''Because I can't.''

''Seriously?''

''I can't.''

''Why can't you?''

''because—that's- uh—not— I don't know. I just can't.''

Killua does not answer to this, and raises himself a tad, squatting again. He rolls his fingers and cracks his knuckles, looking the other way, a distant look in his eyes.

''Fine, be like that,'' he sighs somehow gruffly, shaking on his head. When their eyes meet again, his eyes looks glazed and unfocused, somehow distracted.

Something molds in Gon's stomach and sinks there heavily, making him feel ill.

In the blink of an eye, Killua is gone – out of sight, and is aura is nowhere to be sensed. He must have concealed it and then went ahead, somewhere only he knows. Left is Gon sitting, a dreadful thought clenching his heart as he contemplates what just happened, and why he cannot get Killua's name on his lips – cannot tell him that it is Killua he loves.

* * *

The next morning, Killua acts as if nothing has happened. He approaches Gon and talks like he always has, with indirect promises and a prowling smirk on his lips as he explains the quest they are to proceed – something Ging has requested.

''Probably going to be easy peachy,'' he rhymes, cocking a brow to Gon in a challenging matter. ''We'll be bodyguards for a little while, right? That's what he said, yeah?'' he stretches his arms above his head and yawns. Gon, however, cannot seem to get his mood right, nor seem to focus on anything Killua says. He keeps dazing off while his gaze is captured on Killua, remembering the look that had harbored his eyes just yesterday.

''Gon?''

Gon snaps out of it and shakes his head, chuckling apologetically, mussing his spiked hair in a clumsy gesture. ''Sorry, lots of things have been on my mind lately.''

Killua does not respond to this.

* * *

It is a familiar place, Yorknew City – full of life. Every street looks almost the same. For this year, something has been rumored to occur at the underground auction – just like back then when the Phantom Troupe had been on a spree. However, this time they are not just sorted to be personal bodyguards, but have to protect the auction itself and the people there as a part of the security. A big load of wealth is to be assigned to them once they do it right, Killua explains, offering a devilish smile.

''Think of all the candy I can buy,'' he chuckles almost darkly.

Yet still, to Gon, he does not look the same. Not like Killua, the one he has known for years.

They rent a hotel room for a week and stay there in the city. They wonder why they have been called out there, seeing as nothing out of the norm happens. Some smaller bandits appear here and there, but that is all.

Amidst the week, they meet up with Kurapika and Leorio, who have come for the same reason as them.

When they go out in the city together, both Kurapika and even Leorio notices a difference in the relationship between the two boys, also judging by Gon's lack of cheery mood.

A fine evening, one of the last days of the week, Kurapika and Gon stand out on the balcony – admiring the lights from the busy city.

''It's beautiful, isn't it?'' Kurapika says, and he puts his hands on the railing.

Gon stands next to him, his elbows resting there instead. ''It is beautiful,'' he mutters, quietly, and is not thinking of the city, but rather the silver haired teenager sitting inside the living room – only a windowpane between them. The moment Gon sneaks a peek at Killua, it is as if he senses it and looks straight back with a whip of his jaw – blue eyes strikingly glaring back. Gon nearly jumps in surprise and hastily fixes his gaze somewhere else.

Kurapika breaks the dark haired boys mindless fidgeting: ''It might not be my case to look into. However, has something happened between Killua and you?'' he asks gently, careful when approaching the subject.

Gon slumps a little in his back at this, not knowing how to reply.

''I don't know,'' he says – completely in honesty.

''I-'' he flails with his arms, making a grimace. ''I'm in love with someone, and Killua wanted to know who.''

''Did you tell him?''

Gon fidgets and picks at the sleeve of his jacket. ''No – uh, I didn't. I couldn't, really.'' He says, stretching the first syllable with an attitude.

A knowing expression shows upon Kurapika's features, and he laughs airily. ''Gon.''

Gon turns his head to look at Kurapika.

''Adolescence,'' is the only thing he says. Gon blinks his eyes.

''It means you're growing up, Gon. You're viewing things in a different way – getting aware of your feelings. You're becoming an adult.''

''You're falling in love-'' he then adds and turns around, resting his back against the railing now.

''And realizes that it might not be as easy as you think. Love can be either requited or unrequited – but nonetheless, love is a part of being a human. When you dedicate your everything to another person – it means you're in love, one way or another. There are many kinds of love in this world. The love I feel for you is not the same love as the one I feel for, um, let's say—uh—Leorio, perhaps. It's all different,'' he explains, a faint tint of rosa extended on his cheeks by the mentioning of Leorio.

''There is the sexual desire, when you want to get intimate with a person. Usually, the romantic one follows suit there – when you're interested in the person's personality, as in investing yourself emotionally in one another. There's also the friendship – which means you want to be friends, of course. It's platonic.. There is the motherly or the one for family members – one for strangers and other kinds of love. Countless of variations. The great thing is that a love is never the same. Never. It changes vibrantly from person to person. However, they're all important, depending on what you define them as and what you do with them.''

Kurapika pats Gon's shoulder, an affirming grasp, ''and maybe you should consider that the person might love you too.''

A strange sort of relief drapes on Gon's shoulders, and he musters a bright smile at the words Kurapika has spoken. ''I never thought about that,'' he admits, looking puzzled for a moment.

''Well, it's up you, Gon. No need to rush,'' Kurapika says, shrugging lightly.

* * *

The following days, Gon thinks he might pass out from thinking too much. They are heading home from the assigned mission, travelling by plane. Gon bumps his forehead against the round windowpane and mutters unintelligible words under his breath, while Killua, on the sideline, pretends not to notice.

Lately, Gon has noticed how Killua has been sort of hyper-aware of who Gon walks with, even when he was with Kurapika. The silver-haired boy looks as if scrutinizing every person Gon converses with, but Gon does not think much of it, not until right now. In the beginning of the flight, a girl from the security center offered to sit next to him, but Killua was faster and yapped that it was his spot, promptly sitting next to Gon with a sour expression marrying his face.

Gon does not understand Killua, nor seem to know what his intentions are. From one moment to another, he is acting cold – and then suddenly he is talkative and wants to sit close.

He still has this gut-sinking feeling somewhere, as if he hurt Killua back then, but also the void of not having been honest about his feelings to his best friend.

He thinks about the words Kurapika had said. However, he cannot seem to believe the idea of this his love being returned.

''Killua,'' he mutters, peeking at the boy sitting next to him. Killua is about to doze off, but promptly sits straight and snaps his head towards Gon, blinking his eyes questioningly. ''Yeah?''

''Are you mad at me?'' he asks, unable to suppress the small pucker of his lips by the thought of Killua agreeing to it.

Killua looks a bit taken back. ''No, why'd you think that?'' he says – quickly, disbelieving, eyebrows twitching.

Gon purses his lips and tongues the inside of his cheek. ''Well I- don't know. I just feel bad.''

He picks at the edge of his shorts, sliding the fabric between two of his fingers. ''I feel like I've lied to you,'' he admits, shrugging.

Killua swallows heavily and leans back, looking at the seat in front of him. ''Have you?'' he asks, simply – voice neutral.

When Gon does not answer promptly, Killua adds ''Have you lied to me?'' seemingly more curious than anything else now.

At this, the black haired teenager tenses up, biting the inside of his cheek. Has he really lied to Killua?

''I don't know,'' he says. Again.

''You say that a lot,'' Killua notes, scratching the nape of his neck quickly, grasping there, as if massaging the spot.

''I know.''

* * *

It is as if everything turns back to the average in a mere matter of days, and they sit outside in the warm weather, back where they were before. Killua has loosened up and acts the way he always does, no longer any sort of peculiar tension lingering to him. However, Gon is also back to normal – to his somehow confused state, where he continuously spends his days thinking most of the time away, contemplating what he is feeling – and what he is to do about it.

Back then in the plane, he could have told Killua what he really is feeling. He can do it any time, but no matter what he does, or no matter how many times he ends up alone with Killua, gazing into those blue, blue eyes – he cannot make himself get the words on his lips, something simple as to say 'I love you'.

The fear is still there – this sort of strange fear that consumes him whenever he is alone with Killua, but he does not know why it is there. It mixes in with the temptation that arises at certain times, when he feels like reaching out for Killua – and the fear makes him draw his hand back and refrain from doing what he feels like.

'_Maybe you should consider that the person loves you back.' _

Kurapika had said.

Why does it seem so far away?


	2. A warm feeling

Warning: this chapter contains explicit sexual content.

Remember to settle the reading format as 1/2 for a better reading experience.

Kindly leave a review when you're done.

Enjoy.

* * *

Gon lies outside in the darkness – in the high grasses, gazing at the sky. Killua must be inside, snoring in his bed or something like that.

The sky looks pretty at night, especially when there are no other lights than the stars above – glowing mildly like small fireflies. There is also the moon, which stands high on the sky, right there where the sun usually is around midday.

For some reason, when he looks up at the moon, he is reminded of Killua. The moon glows mildly – with a silvery gleam. It is far away and looks strangely fond to Gon, beautiful and mild. Somehow fragile.

His gut is straining, and despite the coldness outside, his body feels warm when he thinks of Killua. His legs shivers when he raises himself, trotting inside the house and into his room. It has been a challenge to him, somehow – sharing a room with Killua. Especially when Killua tends to go around half-naked in the middle of the day, having a habit of throwing his shirt off when he is training inside to do push-ups.

As Gon has predicted, Killua is laying in his bed. He lies unusually still, not making a sound.

The floor creaks when Gon treads upon the wooden planks, and he winces and makes a grimace, knowing what a light sleeper Killua is. He stands in front of his own bed now, but his eyes traces the bed standing against the other wall – where a silvery form is slumped. Killua's hair is almost glowing in the light of the rays from the moon shining through one of the windows.

Gon's feet move by themselves, and one step after another leads him towards Killua's bed instead, although his mind is trying to force him to stop.

That strange temptation lures within him again, but it feels much more stubborn now. Killua is sleeping with his front turned against the wall, so his back is facing Gon.

He feels like his heart is being clenched within his chest, beating so fast he thinks he might pass out. The fear is back, numbing his senses as he bites his lower lip and holds his hands in fists, thinking of what he is to do now.

Something snaps inside his head and he stops moving entirely. For a second or two, he stops breathing too, and he hears nothing but the noises from outside, the bugs never sleeping.

He slips underneath the covers of Killua's bed and turns around so he lies back to back with him. He blinks his eyes when Killua does not even flinch, and wonders if he is still sleeping. It is a little cramped, and the bed is too small for the two growing teenagers.

''Can I sleep with you?'' He asks anyway, feeling as if he is talking to the air.

His shoulders hunches up when he hears a stuttering breath just next to him, followed by a raspy: ''yeah.''

A ticklish feeling swirls in his fingertips and makes him grasp his biceps, as if hugging himself. Resisting to turn around.

They lie completely still against one another, their in- and exhaling barely audible.

Gon thinks a half hour passes like that. He cannot fall asleep at all, even if he really tries.

''I don't like being in love,'' Gon mutters, all of sudden, his voice breaking into a croak by the end. He does not mean what he is saying, but at the same time, he kind of does.

''I don't like it, either,'' Killua answers, and Gon tenses up.

''You shouldn't not like it,'' Gon suddenly yaps despite his own words. Killua is anything but unreasonable. Killua's love is important, he thinks.

This earns him a chuckle as the body next to him shakes slightly. Gon really likes it when Killua laughs.

''You're one to talk,'' Killua says, fondly.

''Why don't you like being in love?'' Gon quietly asks.

It takes a while before Killua answers.

''It's suffocating.''

He continues,

''- it makes me do many stupid things. Feel a lot of… weird things,'' he murmurs, half of the words muffled when he covers his mouth with his pillow. ''It makes me vulnerable. It's stupid.''

''I don't think that the things you do are stupid. Your feelings are not stupid,'' Gon stubbornly says, and he turns around in a whisk to face Killua's back, his voice growing louder.

''Your love is not stupid,'' he finishes with a determined huff.

Killua's body jerks at this. He turns around to face Gon, although they cannot see each other very well. He can outline the big amber eyes and curved eyebrows, his nose and his pursed mouth.

They look into each other's eyes.

' ''Well, yours isn't, either!'' Killua complains in return, or tries to – his lower lip wobbling, making it sound more like a squeak.

It is silent after that, until he sighs and timidly says ''we sound like children.''

Gon smile sat this, and he bares his teeth in a laugh.

''It isn't. And my love isn't stupid, either'' he agrees, sounding fond.

Killua wants to ask again, wants to know who this person is – the person who Gon loves. He feels a cape of a venomous emotion drape his shoulders again.

''What is the person like?'' He asks, trying not to sound bitter, but fails to do so.

''The person is funny,'' Gon offers.

He looks deep in thought.

''The person is sly and cheeky, too. Sarcastic. A good person, a person who deserves better, much better,'' he adds.

Along the explanation, the uneasiness somehow fades somewhere in the background, and Gon rambles instead:

''The person is also very kind. He looks beautiful just like a doll, and he is good at fighting and is very intelligent. He likes candy, too.'' Gon sounds excited the more he talks about this person,

''He makes me feel light like a feather. I love seeing him smile. I love his laugh, the way he speaks, the way he walks. I like being with him, and he makes me happy. He's a good person-''

Gon sounds as if out of breath.

''- and he is my best friend. I love him more than I love anyone else.''

Killua tenses up and stares wide-eyed at Gon, not moving an inch. Something clogs in his throat and makes him incapable of speaking, but he can feel heat run along his cheeks and even his neck a tad, and everything is going in slow motion.

''I love you, Killua,'' Gon says, voice firm but at the same time light and tender, and his breath is warm against Killua's lips.

Killua's shoulders begin to shake slightly, and he closes his eyes and brings his hands up to his face, covering himself.

''Killua?''

''Killua, are you okay?'' and suddenly, the strange fear is back in Gon's nerves, he feels nauseated in a whole another way. ''Killua, I'm sorry-''

Gon reaches his hands up, even though one of his arms are caught under his own weight from laying on his side, and pulls Killua's hands down to see his face. Killua resists a bit, but not in a whole-hearted way and shows his face.

His eyes are glazed and tears drape down his nose and the side of his cheek, given their positions. His eyes are even more blue than before, and his mouth quivers as he sniffs quietly. The expression on his face looks as if belonging to a child – a contrast to his grown state.

The first thing Gon does is to pull Killua in for a hug, embracing him tightly so that Killua's face is hidden in the crook of his neck. Killua's breath comes out in small frantic puffs and fans over Gon's throat, and it causes a feeling in Gon's gut that it should not do, but he adamantly ignores it and holds Killua close.

He runs his hand along Killua's naked spine and ignores how soft the skin is, concentrating on comforting the teenager in his arms.

They are still lying on their sides, huddled together now, and Killua has in the process one of his legs nestled between Gon's thighs. It takes a while before the frantic breathing slows down and Killua suddenly returns the hug, inching closer to Gon as he presses his mouth against Gon's Adams apple.

''I'm sorry – I- I didn't expect you to-'' Killua murmurs, breathing heavily. Gon shivers, but keeps his stance and traces a finger along the bumps on Killua's spine. ''I had thought—I had thought you didn't love me, so I- so I'm just surprised,'' he admits with a quiet voice, licking his chapped lips as he then breathes out heavily again, recovering from the astonishment.  
Gon blinks his eyes and opens his mouth, making a hoarse sound, a stretched 'uh'.

''So you're—you're not angry or anything?'' He asks.

''Angry?'' Killua repeats this time, detaching himself slightly from Gon, using his elbow as leverage to raise his torso. He gives Gon an incredulous look despite the darkness. ''Why would I? I mean, I-''

Then he quiets down, and his lower lip begins to wobble.

''I mean I-'' he tries, without any luck.

''I love-'' He drags it out and stills again. He pulls his hands into fists from where they are lying - one along Gon's hip and the other one between them.

''You got it right back,'' he mutters instead, a sheepish smile on his lips.

A wondrous feeling shimmers in Gon's stomach, and his smile reaches his eyes now as he pulls Killua in for another hug, almost using too much of his strength. He presses his nose to Killua's temple and some of his locks, inhaling there, enjoying the vanilla scent he always carries.

It feels as if he is dreaming - as if this is not his timeline, and that this is not real. However, it is real, and the fear from before diminishes ever so slowly, and he understands what it means. He understands what this fear has been, and where it comes from. The fear of his feelings not being returned, or that the way he views Killua is considered wrong. Nonetheless, Killua is here, and he is telling him that he returns the feelings. The way Gon feels is not wrong.

He whines against Killua's temple, subsequently inching down to nuzzle his cheek against Killua's cheek repeatedly, saying Killua's name in a pleading but relieved manner, and Killua murmurs: ''what's up with you, geez,'' although he returns the small rubs.

''I love you, '' Gon stretches the words and plants a smack kiss to his Killua's cheek, making him groan and laugh in the process.

''Cut it out, idiot,'' Killua says, but the words are fond and there is a tint to his face that he cannot excuse.

''Do you love me too?'' the black haired teenager then asks, inching closer, moving a bit on his head as he continuously brushes Killua's cheek with his lips in small draws.

At first, he does not answer, but Gon only chuckles at this and presses Killua closer to himself, fully lifting his free leg over him, and Killua rolls onto his back. Gon hugs him like a body pillow.

Killua rasps a ''yeah,'' and snakes his arm that used to cushion Gon's head down to his waist and around there, caressing his back, giving him a little pat. ''I love you.'' He says with a shaky breath, barely understanding the situation, although a prominent smirk lingers to his lips.

For the rest of the night, they sleep like that – huddled together.

* * *

Almost a month passes where nothing out of the norm happens, despite a newly made ritual of them always sharing a bed whenever nighttime arrives. They do quests together and travel – and do what Pro Hunters are to do, and along the way, they have made people aware of their current relationship. Some people are not surprised. This includes Leorio and Kurapika.

* * *

A strange day in the heat they walk along a river, a peaceful day where they do nothing but relax. Gon waves around with his fishing rod, as if practicing how to throw the hook rightfully, being careful not to hit Killua in the process. He hums a merry song that fades down the further they get up the river.

''Hey, Killua?'' he asks, puckering his lips.

Killua jerks his head Gon's way and tongues the inside of his cheek, looking dazed and tired – ''m-hmm?''

''You make me feel aroused.''

Killua nearly trips over his own feet, and actually does – but straightens his back and makes his composure right, spluttering indignant cursing for nearly falling head first onto the ground. ''Gon!'' he barks, clenching his fists.

''Did I do something wrong?'' he asks, tilting his head, amber eyes bright and questioning, as if not realizing what the words he has spoken in reality indicates.

''No I-'' Killua looks around feverishly, as if thinking someone might be eavesdropping their conversation. ''It's just sudden and all,'' he murmurs, rubbing the nape of his neck.

''I just want to reach out for you sometimes, like it's some sort of… temptation. I've gotten aroused before just from looking at your face,'' he continues, and Killua's blush deepens as he looks down at the ground, muttering small intelligible words.

Gon laughs aloud at this, running a hand through his hair. ''I love the way you react – all the time,'' it turns into snickering, and he bares his teeth in a lop-sided smirk that seems peculiar on his face, though nonetheless, just as charming. He does something unusual – lifts his brows once or twice in a challenging manner, and that is where Killua realizes that, well, Gon is a growing teenager as well.

He gets sexual innuendos, he has desires – and he has grown. He has a strong jaw - his shoulders are broader than his own are, and he has another kind of muscular built – a bit bulkier than Killua's. Killua is still taller though, but that is only by a few daring centimeters. The person walking next to him is no longer a child, and has seen some things and been through some things that must have matured him ages ago.

It is just now that Killua finally gets it, when Gon swings the fishing pole again and his biceps flexes by the force he uses, still wearing that smug smirk on his lips from before.

He feels a surge of electricity spike down his spine and the hair on his neck stands on end.

* * *

The moon gives off lazy rays of light that shines in through the window, it being the only thing to light up the room. All Killua can hear is Gon's soft snoring, mingled with the noises of a few bugs buzzing around outside and the wind swooshing through the trees.

Gon lies right in front of Killua on his back, his arm draped over his own stomach and the other one, closest to Killua, rests on Killua's thigh.

Killua lies on his side, and he thinks that Gon looks peaceful; his mouth is slightly agape, snoring softly – his chest heaves up and down ever so slowly for every in- and exhaling he makes.

Killua closes his eyes and listens to it for a few couple of seconds, until he is interrupted by a sudden thought.

''_You make me feel aroused.'' _

Those were Gon's words.

Words he never has expected to hear from Gon, of all people.

Admittedly, that is also another thing that shows him that Gon is no longer a child. It is not like Killua has perceived Gon as a child, ever, but fact remains that Gon is not exactly innocent anymore, per se – in _that _kind of way. On the other hand, just in many ways in general.

The words Gon had spoken keeps dwelling within Killua's mind, and a certain warmth pools somewhere in his stomach. His skin feels hot right where Gon's hand is resting, and he huffs quietly and tries to think of something else, but fails to do so. The more he attempts to avoid it, the more he feels this snug sensation crawl along his spine, as if something heats his skin from the inside.

Killua raises his torso and looks around the room, not really knowing why. Trying to figure out how to distract himself – or his body. Nothing comes to his mind.

He looks down at Gon sleeping. Without any further thought, he reaches his hand out and runs his fingertips along the bridge between Gon's abs on his naked stomach, watching as he tenses up and flexes automatically by the sudden touch. Killua does not put much thought into it. It is as if his mind has gone on standby, and instead he just looks at how Gon grimaces in his sleep when he traces his fingers just a little lower, following the happy trail that courses down from his navel and disappears under his boxers.

Killua swallows heavily.

Gon's skin is firm and constantly warm, like a living furnace. It is nice to touch, somehow affirming.

Killua nearly jumps out of the bed when Gon flinches the slightest, but Gon only moves the hand that was draping the start of his stomach to scratch just right underneath the edge of his boxers, subsequently letting it rest by his hip. He smacks his lips quietly and then turns his head, continuing his slumber.

''Gon?'' Killua tries, blinking his eyes.

Gon does not answer, though.

Killua can feel the tips of his ears flush, and even though Gon might not be awake, he still feels somehow shy about his doings.

That does not stop him from exploring further, though.

He tells himself that it is better for him to stop, but it is as if his mind is not connected to his body currently, and instead his fingers trace the happy trail again, and this time they draft further down and slide over the fabric of Gon's boxers. Gently, he cups Gon's growing erection through the fabric, sliding a finger over the bulge.

He curses to himself, feeling a blush extend on his cheeks as he keeps his fingers there – this time still, not knowing what to do from there.

Something comes to his mind. ''Stop, stop, damn,'' he sputters to himself, retracting his hand as he mushes his cheeks with his hands, trying to dull the flusterment.

After a while, he calms down again and sighs deeply.

He raises himself again and straddles Gon this time, standing on all four above the sleeping teenager. He wiggles a little backwards and huddles between Gon's legs, and something clogs his throat as he cautiously tries to lower himself so that he lies on his stomach. He manages without making a sound, fortunately.

What is a disadvantage, though, is that now he cannot see Gon's face – nor see if he might be awake or will awaken. He will notice anyway due how Gon's body will react, he supposes, but still feels timid and insecure.

Killua does not question any of it for much longer, though, because now his hands snake up Gon's leg and to his hips, picking lightly at the fabric. He leans forward and tentatively mouths the outline of Gon's erection through the boxers, listening to how the teenagers´ breathing falters shortly – but still remarkably.

Gon's boxers are of dark grey material, and where his straining erection ends, Killua can still see through the darkness that the fabric is a little darker due pre-cum having made it wet. Perplexed and as if in trance, Killua traces a finger along the length of the erection curving to the side, not allowed passage upwards by the tight elastic band holding the boxers in place.

Gon's breathing turns heavier now and his legs quiver a bit, but his body is seemingly still asleep – or his mind, that is. Killua replaces his fingers and traces the tip of his tongue there instead, and the tension itself gets him bothered as he moans quietly in bare excitement, his warm breath fanning over the clothed erection.

He curls his fingers underneath the edge of the elastic band of the boxers, slowly pulling them down. He licks his lips absently, focusing on the display in front of him. It smells peculiar, but not bad – like a distant waft that affirms what is going on. He pulls the boxers just a bit more down, but enough to reveal Gon's erection and a bit of his thighs, and his erection springs up and lies heavily against his stomach.

Killua fidgets a bit, as he grips the base of the length, hearing Gon swallow thickly. His length is thicker than Killua's is, and different from holding his own. He presses a bit and experimentally runs his palm and fingers along the length, repeating the motions he uses on himself sometimes. As he does so, he notices how he is gradually moving closer, inching forward bit by bit. Pre-cum is gathered at the slit, and he smears it onto his thumb, subsequently lapping it off his digit.

His eyes flicker up to eye Gon's face briefly, although he still cannot see it properly.

Killua feels humble, but loving. It thrills him and a shiver runs down his spine as he releases a soft moan.

He opens his mouth and moves forward, daringly sticking his tongue out.

Something enticing blossoms in his stomach. Despite Gon being half asleep, the feeling of pleasing someone – the way Gon arches a bit in his back and moves a up, his brows furrowing, grinding his teeth – those small things he will usually not notice, the signs giving away lust.

Killua's heart may as well stop beating when he hears Gon murmur something.

Gon's body rouses and his shoulders press against the mattress as he gets up, only his torso, using one hand as leverage. He blinks his eyes drowsily, breathing still uncontrolled as he tilts his head and looks down at Killua huddled between his legs.

''Killua?'' he says, and it sounds rhetorical, somehow, and his voice his thick and a bit deeper than the usual due just having slept.

Somewhere back in his mind, Killua thinks that his cheeks may catch a fire now. He swallows the embarrassment though and settles to surprise Gon instead.

Gon is about to say something again, but instantly stops speaking when Killua swipes his tongue along the head, now sounding breathless amidst everything. Suddenly, Killua can feel Gon's hand on the back of his head, gently ruffling through his hair there – now turning into a little tighter, surprised grasping.

Killua is not sure if what he is doing is right, but he closes his eyes and tries anyway, probing his tongue along the foreskin and then underneath it, listening to whatever makes Gon's breath quicken or stop for a bit. A stubborn throbbing sounds in his ears, temples beating – and aside from that he can hear Gon's voice and his in- and exhaling.

After a while, Killua tries something more; he opens his mouth wide and tries to take Gon's arousal in bit by bit as he is still pumping him, and he runs a finger along an apparent vein.

He has been told about the gag reflex before – and the system of a human's body. He expects it to come, the grim feeling of when his body tells him to pull back and breathe. It does not come, though, and he continues to slide the length in and through his lips, careful not to touch it with the surface of his teeth. His tongue slides along and underneath the head of the length, and he does not stop taking it in – only until his nose touches Gon's pubic hair and the erection hits the back of his throat.

Gon stops breathing.

Killua pulls back completely, wiping a string of drool away with the back of his hand. ''Killua – are you okay?'' Gon asks, and he is about to wiggle closer to check up on him, but Killua pushes him back with his hands on his hips.

''I'm okay – why wouldn't I be?'' Killua feels his ears prickling – without his consent, because not that Gon regards him with all of his attention – now fully awake, he feels like he is caught in the spotlight. Beside the embarrassment, all the want and the urges wells up in him again, and he has to contain himself from not sinking down on him again. ''You don't have a gag reflex?'' Gon says, sounding amazed, if not taken a bit aback. How does Gon know about such a thing connected to intimacy, Killua wonders.

''I don't think so,'' Killua murmurs.

Gon is about to speak again when Killua choses to silence him instead, closing his eyes as he guides his erection into his mouth again. Gon stops amidst his words, and now he does not even stop himself from moaning, hand returning to ruffle Killua's hair and then grips it.

Gon whispers intelligible words, and even if Killua cannot hear what he is saying, it is still the most amazing thing he has ever heard Gon say – because of the way his breath sounds wanton, how he sounds phased and as if in trance.

Killua accidentally scrapes a canine tooth against the thin skin, making Gon hiss in surprise. He apologizes though, and Gon nuzzles the back of his ear and says that it is okay. Killua takes him in once more – all the way, and Gon's grip on his hair tightens.

''Killua'', he moans lowly in his throat, all of suddenly gruff again. Killua starts sucking lightly, bobbing his head experimentally. This pays him off good as Gon thrusts his pelvis and forces him to swallow him anew. He hurriedly apologizes though, saying: ''I'm sorry, Killua, I got carried away,'' with a timid smile, sounding genuinely sorry.

Killua ignores this though and locks his eyes on Gon's face. He bobs his head in a faster pace – and Gon has to close his eyes and just breathe for a while. ''You feel so good,'' he sighs, and Killua keens against his erection, the vibration of his throat sending Gon thrusting faster, his fingers continuously tangled in the white unruly locks.

A bubbling feeling grows snug inside Killua's stomach, and one of his hands automatically slide down to his own clothed groin and he rubs the palm of his hand there continuously. He moans around Gon's erection as he continues to take him whole. He tries to murmur his name all the while, whimpering as he huddles himself closer. He somehow manages to shove his free hand down his own boxers all the while, grabbing his own erection as he strokes it haphazardly.

Gon slows his thrusting down though, and Killua cracks one of his eyes open. ''Come here,'' Gon now whispers to him.

Gon has his eyes open, and they are soft and genuine. He pushes lightly to Killua's shoulder, hinting for him to pull back. When Killua does, he leans forward, pushes his hand away too, and wraps his hands around his waist, surprisingly easily lifting him onto his lap as he wiggles back and sits with his back against the headboard of the bed.

Killua releases a surprised gasp when Gon settles him onto his lap. Killua's legs are spread as he sinks down onto the teenagers´ thighs and Gon wraps one of his hands around both of their erections, pumping in a stable pace.

Killua only manages to look into Gon's eyes briefly before he pulls him into a kiss with his unoccupied hand. The kiss is different and soft, slow and loving. Gon does not plunge his way into Killua's mouth, but awaits permission as he runs the tip of his tongue along the crack of his mouth, and Killua opens his mouth with a tender gasp.

It does not last long until both of their breathings turns ragged, and Killua's vital region is pooling in an engulfing heat, a peculiar feeling tingling his skin all over. In addition, it feels even more real and satisfying – because Gon is here with him, feeling the same things as he is feeling – it is mutual.

Subconsciously, Killua thrusts in his hips a bit, wanting Gon to touch him more. He obliges, and he guides the other hand down his hipbone and to his buttocks instead, kneading there. Killua arches in his back by the touch, using his hands as advantage. ''There—Gon,'' he groans.

They share the same air, and Killua's moans are the ones filling the room diligently, besides the slick sounds of when Gon runs his hand along their erections.

Killua hides his face in the juncture of Gon's throat as he climaxes, muffling the noises spilling from his lips. It is sweaty and warm there, but he leans into the touch anyway.

He can feel Gon tense up as he releases hushed moans when he comes, nose buried in Killua's hair as he breathes out heavily.

They sit like that for a minute or two, and as Killua draws himself a little back to look at Gon, the exhaustion tears in his limbs persistently. ''Was…, was it okay?'' he asks him.

Gon's eyes look affirming, containing a warm color. ''Yes,'' he yaps excitedly, and Killua wonders how he can still harbor so much energy.

''I love you, Killua,'' he muses, drawing Killua close again – planting kisses on his forehead and then his nose tip. Killua sighs tiredly, smiling wide.

This time, he does not hesitate.

''I love you too.''


End file.
